Exploring Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

As is often common with anything in life, concepts you have little or no exposure to can fly under the radar of your awareness. The same can be said about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is more commonly referred to as OCD. Unless you, a family member, or a close friend have direct experience with this disorder, you are most likely limited to that which has been portrayed by the media in countless movies and books. A character in the television show like Tony Shalhoub’s Mr. Monk who goes to great extremes to avoid contact with others to avoid contamination provides us with a possible depiction of what those with OCD experience. But those who suffer with the disorder know that there is so much more to OCD than staying away from germs.

OCD is a real psychological disorder that can frustrate and often debilitate its sufferers and bring anguish to those people who love or support them. Studies show that OCD affects 2-3% of adults and 1-2% of children, but these numbers don’t include those people undiagnosed but still experiencing the symptoms.

There are two key components to OCD; obsessions, which are unwanted thoughts that serve to stir up fear, uncertainty and discomfort; and compulsions, which are the behaviors displayed by the person as they attempt to rid themselves of the distress associated with their obsessional thoughts. Hand in hand these obsessions and compulsions can evolve into a behavioral loop, which left untreated, can result in severe deterioration of a person’s quality of life.

A very common talked about form of OCD is fear of contamination, however, OCD comes in many types of intrusive thoughts and behaviors. Other examples include, having intense anxiety and persistent thoughts that you have been careless or injured someone, preoccupation with exactness, evenness, balance and/or symmetry , unwanted thoughts or images of violent or aggressive acts toward self or others, focused thoughts on sexual preference or topics related to sex, recurring thoughts centered around acting unfaithful or immorally toward God or others, or thoughts suggesting to redo over and again some behavior to ensure the task has been completed ‘just right’.

To help move past these types of thoughts, persons with OCD will then engage in ritualistic behaviors with the attempt to relieve some of the anxiety induced by the mentioned thoughts. Rituals can include things like excessive checking, washing or cleaning, repeating routine actions (ex. rereading, or counting), and ordering or arranging things in particular ways. These unwanted thoughts and counter behaviors result in wasted time and intrusions which impede a person’s quality of life. There are however, treatment strategies that provide OCD suffers with tools to live free of the above mentioned symptoms.

How to Get Help

Cognitive behavior therapy, better know as CBT, is a skills based approach treatment strategy which allows clients the ability to develop an understanding of their problem and then together, working with a therapist, develop a treatment plan that involves learning and practicing healthier ways of thinking, behaving and coping. The therapist is like a coach or teacher who helps the client understand what is occurring. After the client’s fears are identified, the therapist works with the client and provides homework (commonly referred to as exposures) designed to help the client face their fears and learn to live with uncertainty. The therapist serves as guide and mentor teaching the OCD sufferer how to face these unwanted thoughts and behaviors found as part of their OCD.

The good news behind this frightening disorder is that there are treatments that work and provide relief from the sometimes agonizing symptoms, allowing people to get back to living happy and productive lives.

The therapists at ‘A Balanced Approach’ have received extensive training in CBT targeted to help clients with OCD and are available to work with clients needing both clear diagnosis and treatment of the disorder. Please contact us for more details should you or a loved one require help.

Pride…A Rainbow of Colors

Have you ever wondered what the acronym LGBTQIA2S+ stands for?  In honor of PRIDE month, below is a helpful graphic for explaining each of the terms.  The acronym is not all-inclusive, however the + at the end reflects the great diversity that exists within gender identities and sexual orientations.  Like a rainbow, the colors are endless, beautiful and something to be proud of and celebrated!

“48% of youth stated they wanted counseling from a mental health professional but were unable to receive it in the past year.” – The Trevor Project

 If you or someone you know is part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community and has been looking for a mental health professional, please reach out to our very own Lindsay MacGeorge, who specializes in working with the amazing children, youth, adults and parents in this community.

 For more information about LGBTQIA2S+ and pride, here are some great resources:

 History of Pride: https://www.history.com/pride

 LGBTQ Youth: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

 Human Rights Campaign: https://www.hrc.org/

 Mazzoni Center (Philadelphia): https://www.mazzonicenter.org/health-care

Is the Glass Half Full or Half Empty? It’s Your Self Talk That Knows for Sure

Imagine two people waiting in line at the grocery store.  Due to new Covid-19 cleaning procedures the process often creates a back up of customers trying to check-out.  One person standing in the lengthy line believes he is trapped, saying to himself, “I can’t believe how much time I am wasting at this store, I’m vaccinated, why do I need to wait for this extra cleaning?” and “I have go to get out of here and if the clerk doesn’t speed it up, I think I’m going to lose it right here, right now.”  What he feels is anger, anxiety and frustration.  The second person views the situation as an opportunity to relax and finds herself humming to the piped-in background store music.  She looks past the lengthy line and notices the magazine rack off to the side, recognizes the face of a favorite actor and decides to grab the publication and leisurely page through, catching up on a bit of the Hollywood glitz that she finds pleasantly distracting.  Person number two is feeling a sense of calm, acceptance and is at ease with the present situation.  In both cases, the check out line is exactly the same, but the feelings in response to the situation are very different and have been self created by each individual’s internal monologue, or what is commonly referred to as ‘self talk’.  

Self talk is the continuous stream of unspoken thoughts, both good and bad, that run through our minds. 

 The source of these thoughts is generated either based on logical reasoning, or, on misconceptions that a person creates on their own when there is a lack of information or knowledge.  This lack of information may cause a person to “fill in the blanks” with misinformation, which in turn, can result in negative self talk.  Negative self talk impacts how we view ourselves and the world around us.  It is not to say that negative things won’t occur and bring with them negative thoughts, but producing more negative thoughts than positive on a regular basis, can greatly impact your mental health and the way you view your world.

 So how do you identify negative self talk?  A good starting point is to look at examples of some common forms; 

Filtering-  Filtering occurs when a person focuses on the negative aspects of a situation and filters out the positive.  An example of this would be: A spouse vacuums and dusts the entire house and has dinner waiting on the table for the family and when the family offers praise for the sparkling home and the delicious food, the spouse can only think about the two loads of wash that they didn’t get to that day.

 Personalizing -  In the event that something bad occurs, the thought pattern of this person will be to find reason to blame themselves.  Learning that the group has decided to cancel lunch plans, the person using personalizing will produce thoughts that the lunch was indeed canceled because the others did not want to be around them.  

Catastrophizing- A person with this thought pattern automatically resorts to the worst possible outcome.  An example of this type of negative thinking is illustrated by the person who spills coffee on themselves at breakfast and then automatically thinks that the rest of the day will be filled with mishaps.

 Polarizing-  This type of thinking has no room for middle ground, but rather focuses on the extremes, good vs. bad, right vs. wrong.  The thought is that unless it is perfect, you are a failure.

Strategies to Improving Your Self Talk

 It takes awareness and practice, but a person can learn to replace negative thoughts.  It may take some time to internalize this new habit, but the next steps will get you on the path.

1.      Focus in and notice (start small)-  Take a look at your life and focus in on one area; a relationship, work, a daily routine, for example, and begin to notice your thoughts.  Notice if your thoughts are mostly positive or mostly negative.

2.     Evaluate your thoughts 

Check in with yourself throughout the day and notice, if thoughts tend to be mostly negative, see if you can find a way to put a more positive spin on them.  If they are mostly positive, notice, and feel good about yourself and your thinking. 

3.     Use Compassion-  Don’t be too hard on yourself if you begin to notice that the majority of your thoughts appear negative. Noticing is a good first step toward change, and you are now one step closer.

4.     Practice Good Self Care-  A person who is more relaxed, rested and at ease will undoubtedly have any easier time engaging in positive self talk.  Do your best to practice behaviors that help mange your stress.

5.     Positivity Can Be Contagious-  Make it a point to surround yourself with positive thinkers.  Supportive people who provide you with positive modeling make for an easier journey.

6.     Practice Breeds Improvement-  Notice examples of negative thinking and then counter it with something positive.  The more practice you get the more automatic it will become.  Using gratitude while working on positive thinking is a good strategy to practice as well and can help you generate more positive thoughts.

     So the next time you find yourself in a long check out line, use the time to flip through a magazine or hum a song, remembering, you can’t change the length of the line, but you can change how you think about it.

4 Myths About Starting Therapy

Have you been thinking about seeing a therapist for a while?  Is it hard to pick up the phone and make that first call?

You are not alone in this!  Many people spend months (or even years!) debating about therapy before they actually do it.  It’s normal to have anxiety about trying something new, especially when it means talking about personal things like emotions and life experiences to someone you don’t know.  Here are some myths about the process as well as some information about what counseling is really like:

But first, what is therapy anyway?

Therapy is a scientifically proven process to help people manage not only mental health concerns, but also stress and everyday experiences and emotions.  A licensed therapist will use many proven techniques to help you manage your thoughts, navigate your feelings and improve behaviors that are keeping you from living the life you want.

Myth # 1: “Therapy didn’t work for me in the past, so it’s not going to now.”

As therapists, we hear this one all the time!  Have you ever gone to a medical doctor or dentist that you didn’t really care for, so you tried another one?  I know the process is not always easy, but just because you didn’t have the best experience or you didn’t connect with one person, doesn’t mean that will always be the case.  A connection with the right therapist can make all the difference in your experience with therapy and meeting the goals that you have set for yourself.  So please give it another try!

Myth # 2:  “My problems are not “bad” enough to go to counseling”

Some folks are of the impression that things have to be really “bad” in order to warrant counseling services.  However, people attend counseling for many, many different reasons, both small and large.  A concern doesn’t have to be “bad” to warrant counseling, but if it is bothering you, then that is actually the perfect time to seek counseling.  You can get some support and work on the problem before it becomes an even bigger concern!  

Myth # 3:  “I don’t want to talk to a stranger, they don’t even know me!”

While this is a common concern, we actually hear from many people that the opposite is true for them- many people say that this is one of the best reasons to see a therapist.  Many people benefit from hearing an outsider’s perspective on their situation.  A therapist is not involved in your day to day, which puts them in a wonderful position to give you a fresh new view on the dynamics of a situation.

Myth # 4: “Once you start, you have to go for the rest of your life.”

Definitely not true!  Some people will go to therapy for just a few sessions if that is all they need to reach their goals.  At the beginning of the therapeutic relationship, you will set goals with your therapist about what you want to accomplish and the therapist will share some strategies of how to meet those goals.  Periodically you and your therapist will take time to assess your progress, possibly identify different goals or decide that your goals have been met.  Sometimes people will transition to taking longer breaks between appointments in order to assess how they feel without therapy each week, others just end when they are ready.  There’s no right or wrong way here.  Therapists love when you meet your goals, just as much as you do, and we want you to succeed!

We hope these myths have helped to answer some common concerns you may have about starting therapy.  We know it can be scary to start something new, but in this case, the benefits are well worth it!

A Little Anxiety Can Be OK

6 Tips to Validate your Child’s Feelings Without Reinforcing their Fears

As parents we often feel the need to take on super-hero powers to help our kids manage their anxious feelings. Some may feel like it’s written in the parent job description to do whatever is possible to help children deal with anxious feelings. What parents often miss in this repeatable cycle is that this short term fix can actually reinforce the fear. The child learns that when they voice feelings of anxious distress, someone (the parent) takes it away. For a little while the child feels better, but this is short- lived because the child has not faced their fear. While reassurance in the moment seems appropriate, it is strengthening the fear for the future. So what can a parent do? Here are 6 tips to keep in mind:

1. Develop Coping Skills- A better goal than eliminating your child’s anxiety is to help them develop their own coping strategies to manage it. As parents we don’t enjoy seeing our children unhappy, but teaching them to sit with anxiety and tolerate the feelings, even when they are anxious, is best. Using this approach will result in a decrease or even elimination of the anxiety in the long term.

2. Avoid Avoiding- Sometimes a natural reaction to anxiety is to avoid the things causing the anxious feelings and, in the short term, the child will feel relief. But this avoidance actually reinforces the anxiety in the long term. A child who cries or gets upset in response to anxious feelings, who is then removed from the situation by their parent, has now learned this as a coping strategy and this cycle (anxious = cry = parent removes me) has a high probability of repeating itself.

3. Provide Support - Validating that the fear is present for your child and then providing support which focuses on the child’s strengths is best. “You have done well in the past and I saw you study several extra hours for your Math exam so I am confident that you will be able to manage the anxiety you are feeling about the exam.” This response example allows your child to hear that they are understood, but also focuses on your confidence, that you believe your child has the coping skills needed to face the anxious feelings.

4. Don’t Reinforce the Fears- Children look to their parents for guidance and direction. Being aware of your own fears and being careful not to impose them onto your child is key.

5. Be Aware of Anticipatory Time- The time leading up to a feared situation can work to intensify a child’s fear. There is little benefit to announcing at breakfast, to the child who fears needles, that they will be seeing the doctor that afternoon. Hiding the appointment is not suggested, but shortening the anticipatory time is a positive strategy.

6. Model the Behavior- You are your child’s first teacher. Providing them examples on how you cope with your own anxiety is important. Pretending that you don’t have anxieties is harmful and sends a conflicting message. Pointing out healthy ways you use to tolerate and handle your own stressors allows your child to see that anxiety is manageable and is a normal part of life.

Meet Your Therapists…

You’ve probably already read our bios on the Therapists tab but you may still be wondering who we are, not just as therapists but as real people.  So here’s a fun way to get to know the therapists sitting across the couch from you.

Linda Robins

Linda, How do you spend your free time?

“I love the beach, spending time with my family, and walking my (large!) rescue dog Bingo.  I also love baking and I am famous for my “Everything but the Kitchen Sink Cookies! Yum!”

What do you like most about being a therapist:

“I enjoy helping people and I love being a part of someone’s “ah-ha” moments.  The most satisfying part of therapy is to watch someone start taking the steps to feel better!

What would you want someone who has never been in therapy to know about starting with you?

“Uncertainty can be hard, but you’re taking that first step.  Good for you!  You’re doing it!

Every therapist talks about the importance of coping skills for the people they work with, but what are your favorite coping skills for yourself?

“My two favorite coping skills are walks in nature and dance parties with my daughter!”

Lindsay MacGeorge

Lindsay, How do you spend your free time?

“I love spending time at a favorite lake in upstate New York.  I also enjoy hiking, camping, spending time with my family and reading.  A little known fact about me- I’ve been playing soccer my whole life and I still play as an adult.

What do you like most about being a therapist:

“There is a contagious energy that comes when two people are working together for positive change.  I enjoy being part of those moments and seeing someone’s face light up when they make a connection or learn something about themselves.

What would you want someone who has never been in therapy to know about starting with you?

“There is always some fear in doing something new, but it’s within that fear that some of the most significant change happens.  Lean into that fear, it’s a sign that you’re taking steps so that things can get better.”

Every therapist talks about the importance of coping skills for the people they work with, but what are your favorite coping skills for yourself?

“My favorite coping skills for myself are a combination of running, yoga, cooking, mindfulness, creative projects, playing with my kids and playing soccer.  I use some regularly and preventatively, while others I use in the moment when they’re needed.

*Hopefully you’ve enjoyed getting to know us, as we are looking forward to getting to know you!

~Linda & Lindsay